A good friend of mine is an astrologer. As part of the cycle, he’s saying it’s time for us collectively to move beyond the past and into newer ways of thinking and doing. It doesn’t mean we have to forget about the past or even forgive it if we are not ready to do so. Just that we need to learn what no longer works for us and how to strive towards what does work for us.
This is very relevant for me. As I’m getting to learn more about the scapegoating and the impact it’s had on me, I’m learning more about how much bigger and better the world is without it. I don’t hate the people who have scapegoated me or wish them ill. I’m not going to let them into my life to hurt me again. Instead I choose to focus on the people who do care about me and value relationships with me.
Some of these folks are my cousin & his partner. We went to see Alice in Wonderland this weekend. We had a very nice time. I was listening to the lyrics of the song playing while the closing credits rolled. And I Googled them. Not sure if they’re 100 percent accurate, but they’re at the end of this post. and here’s the video
Continue reading “Passing the Past & Alice in Wonderland”
I spoke to my great aunt last night. I’m very close to her. She’s been somewhat sympathetic, but is very much of the old school, “but they’re faaaaamily” line of thought. I told her about the situation as it unfolded, but emphasized that I didn’t expect her to choose sides and was happy to hear she’s still in contact with them. Continue reading “Uh-oh, Looks Like a New Campaign.”
Good article from Psychology Today re: dysfunctional families & scapegoating. It puts an interesting spin on the Emperor’s New Clothes tale: Continue reading “Emperor’s New Clothes”
Hello, I’m an early 40sish adult daughter of 2 alcoholics. And it’s very likely my mother, who no longer drinks, is a narcissist or at least has narcissistic tendencies. My brother is an alcoholic in recovery, as are my sister in law and my stepdad. I’ve been reading ACOA literature since the mid 80s. I would always skip over the scapegoat parts because scapegoats divert attention from the dysfunction by acting as a lightening rod for criticism and punishment by acting out. They get in trouble with the law, in school and the family focuses in on that instead of dealing with the alcoholism or other dysfunction.
Continue reading “The Scapegoat has resigned”