Whenthescapegoatquits's Blog

A Blog about scapegoat recovery & daughters of narcissistic mothers

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Social Media & Estrangement

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 4, 2012

I just came across this NY Times article about Facebook and estrangements, published back in June.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

I Was a Normal Kid . . .

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on July 27, 2012

I ended up talking with my therapist about seeing a boy & his mom leaving the dentist and some of the reprocessing of things from my own childhood.    I also showed him some photos from my childhood and my parents wedding.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Neediness & Fear of Rejection

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on July 9, 2012

I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch  lately.   For the most part, I’m really pleasantly surprised about how supportive my friends have been.  I’ve actually become closer to several people as a result of opening up about what’s going on with me.  And I also try to be there for my friends too, asking about what’s going on in their lives.  Some of my friends are going through rough patches too.  We’ve actually been able to bond over the mutual support. Of course I had another experience (in the offline world) which made me appreciate those friends all the more.  Not that I didn’t appreciate them already.

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Christmas Contact

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 19, 2011

I actually thought I could relax this December as likely NPD/possibly BPD mother aka Batty Poo hasn’t attempted contact the previous 2 Decembers. The last contact we had was about 2 and a half years ago when she had surgery and I sent her get well wishes. This was about 2-3 weeks after the blow up with bro & SIL because I apparently didn’t offer sufficient maternal worship. Which she ignored, choosing to side with them.

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‘Tis the Season to Set Boundaries

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 12, 2011

I’m want to write a fuller post on this soon (it’s been crazy at work and while not as bad as last year, some holiday sadness), but wanted to provide a link to last year’s post with it’s resources for anyone who needs it.   It’s got some good links to Kellevision & Narcissists Suck about taking care of yourself emotionally and setting boundaries during this season.   Also added a couple of links to Dr. T’s site explaining why Cluster Bs are so difficult at this time of year. 

I’ll try to at least check in to approve comments every few days, so feel free to start a conversation about the holidays and how they are affecting you this year in light of estrangements or difficulties.  Or if you’ve managed to overcome it, coping strategies.  And if you’re in between the two, like me, feel free to share that too! 🙂   Wishing everyone a joyous and peaceful holiday season!

Last year’s post

Also, a couple of other great resources which have been written since then:

Dr. T, with her usual blend of humor and common sense, explains over at Shrink4Men why Cluster B people are so difficult at holidays, both in a blog post and she dedicated a radio show to it.  But please note, the radio show is at a men’s rights site, which has a certain perspective/point of view.  If you disagree with it, please skip it or at least be respectful of the hosting space.  Thanks.

Blog Post

Link to radio post

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Bus to Blamesville: A Roundtrip

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 6, 2011

As I’ve mentioned previously, even the most mundane things can trigger all sorts of feelings.  I was on a bus recently. I’ve always been afraid of either missing my stop or pushing the signal too early for my stop. When I was about 4, my mother let me push the signal. You know how kids like to push elevator buttons, ring bells, that sort of thing? But I pushed it too early for our stop. My mother insisted on getting off at that stop and pushed my brother’s stroller home, telling me she was tired and blaming me for having to walk so far. The few times as an adult when I wasn’t familiar with a route and pushed the bell too early, I got off and walked. I didn’t even occur to me to say, “sorry, I meant the next stop.” Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming, Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Quote of the Day

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on October 21, 2011

Borrowing this from a friend, “Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families. ~Tennessee Williams”  Truer words were never spoken.  I’m so thankful for my friends and healthier family members!

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Doing Unto Myself as I Do Onto Others

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on October 11, 2011

During my therapy appointment this past week, we revisited the estrangement.  We talked about the inconsistency of how the rages my mother directed to me were treated and how I was treated when I expressed rage for bad treatment by my brother & sister-in-law after repeatedly trying to address things more diplomatically.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

The Golden Uterus Syndrome/Mama Martyr Act

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on August 16, 2011

Dr. T, who has treated the victims of Cluster Bs and has done a great deal to spread awareness of them has written about “The Golden Uterus Syndrome”   There’s also the Mama Martyr Act, which can be directed at both the children and the father.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in RANT, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Liking Posts

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on August 14, 2011

I was trying to see info on posts which were liked.  I inadvertently clicked like on a couple of my own posts.  I tried to follow instructions on how to remove my own likes.  But the cursor keeps spinning.  I’ll try again, but just wanted to let anyone reading know I’m not weird enough to like my own posts, lol!  I think that’s implied by my writing them (that I like them) 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »