Whenthescapegoatquits's Blog

A Blog about scapegoat recovery & daughters of narcissistic mothers

Archive for the ‘Personality Disorders’ Category

Faux/Forced Forgiveness

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 14, 2012

Ok, as some of you may know, I’m not all that fond of the “forgiveness police” who decide it’s up to them to dictate to the people who have been wronged as to how and when to forgive. Or that people should forget or give people multiple second chances to people who will prove time and tim again and again and again that they will only kick you in the teeth pretty much every chance they get. That said, I think the most recent episode of American Horror Story: Asylum did an excellent job of illustrating the pitfalls of faux/forced forgiveness. Don’t read any more of this if you haven’t watched this episode, as it contains spoilers Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Shaming | 1 Comment »

Another Good Holiday Read

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 10, 2012

Karyl McBride, who authored, Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Healing Daughters of Narcissitic Mothers, wrote about the holidays and the perfection instilled by Narcissitic parents. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat | Leave a Comment »

Holidays, Hurricane Hoover & No Contact

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 3, 2012

One of my friends posted this and I think it’s really helpful/useful for all of us dealing with No Contact and how some family members try to use the holidays to waltz on in, with no change in their behavior which led to No Contact:

Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Put Up the Christmas Tree

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoating | 5 Comments »

BPD in the Media

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on June 11, 2012

When I heard the tragic news about Mary Kennedy, I also remembered her arrests for impaired driving.  I noted the Kennedys & Richardsons trading blame.   But it appears BPD may have been a factor:  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders | Leave a Comment »

Letter to my Inner Heckler

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 8, 2011

I’ve written about my inner heckler (the voice programmed by my mother) before.  After some more run ins with her, I’ve decided to write a letter to her.

Dear Inner Heckler,

WTF is your problem?   Why are you so mean and nasty?   You are exhausting and obnoxious to live with .  You are miserable and make everyone around you miserable as well.  All you ever do is criticize and you overreact to everything.  I feel exhausted after listening to you.  Most of the time, you don’t even know what you’re talking about and you’re wrong.

I am hereby serving you with a notice of eviction.  Get the hell out my head and stay out!!   You’re not wanted here.

Posted in Letters, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, RANT, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 7 Comments »

You’re Too Good to Me, No Really!

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 1, 2011

As I was re-reading this post on the Narcissists Suck blog, after referring to it in my previous post, it helped me pull together some thoughts and feelings that had been rolling around in my head.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, RANT, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 3 Comments »

The Myth that Women Don’t Abuse People

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 1, 2011

I was reading a news story when I came across this link of Top Ten signs You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship.  Out of the 10 slides used to illustrate abusive behavior, all either feature an adult man as abuser and/or an adult woman as victim.  It uses masculine nouns/pronouns for the abuser and feminine for the victim.  The NEXT TO LAST slide acknowledges that women might also be abusers.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alcoholism, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, RANT, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 4 Comments »

One Law for me, for the Cluster B another

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on October 3, 2011

As part of healing, I’ve been looking at certain events from a different perspective.  In some cases, for the first time, I’ve been able to feel anger and sadness at the way I was treated.  A friend &  I were discussing the estrangement and he asked me if what I’d said which led to the estrangement was the truth or hurling insults.  I answered honestly that it was both. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat, Scapegoating | 7 Comments »

Grudges, Forgiveness & Eviction

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 27, 2011

A good friend of mine posted a photo on Facebook with a sign of that famous saying, “Holding a Grudge is Like Letting Someone Live Rent Free in your head.”  I jokingly replied that some people are harder to evict than others.  Which got me thinking about the expression and all of the area in between it. 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alcoholism, Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Pithy Platitude Parsing, Scapegoat, Shaming | 5 Comments »

Giraffes, Sheep & Scapegoats

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 25, 2011

If you haven’t had a chance to read this Psychology Today blog entry by Karyl McBride, it’s well worth a read.  In addition to addressing the grief which can result from estrangements and/or limited contact and/or no contact, she talks about how this shapes the dynamics in families with Cluster B Parents and about the scapegoat’s role. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 15 Comments »