Whenthescapegoatquits's Blog

A Blog about scapegoat recovery & daughters of narcissistic mothers

Archive for the ‘narcissism’ Category

Another Good Holiday Read

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 10, 2012

Karyl McBride, who authored, Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Healing Daughters of Narcissitic Mothers, wrote about the holidays and the perfection instilled by Narcissitic parents. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat | Leave a Comment »

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on October 18, 2012

‘Tis (or has been) evaluation season at work.  Sometimes I get very nice comments in email from people I do work for at my job.  I’ll include them as part of my evaluation.  This year I received one calling me a “godsend” and another a “genius”.  I couldn’t bring myself to include them in my evaluation, though I did eventually end up passing them along to my boss as praise for the department (that’s how I worded the email where I forwarded them. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders | Leave a Comment »

You’re Too Good to Me, No Really!

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 1, 2011

As I was re-reading this post on the Narcissists Suck blog, after referring to it in my previous post, it helped me pull together some thoughts and feelings that had been rolling around in my head.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, RANT, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 3 Comments »

The Myth that Women Don’t Abuse People

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 1, 2011

I was reading a news story when I came across this link of Top Ten signs You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship.  Out of the 10 slides used to illustrate abusive behavior, all either feature an adult man as abuser and/or an adult woman as victim.  It uses masculine nouns/pronouns for the abuser and feminine for the victim.  The NEXT TO LAST slide acknowledges that women might also be abusers.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Alcoholism, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, RANT, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 4 Comments »

Giraffes, Sheep & Scapegoats

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 25, 2011

If you haven’t had a chance to read this Psychology Today blog entry by Karyl McBride, it’s well worth a read.  In addition to addressing the grief which can result from estrangements and/or limited contact and/or no contact, she talks about how this shapes the dynamics in families with Cluster B Parents and about the scapegoat’s role. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 15 Comments »

New Addition to Links

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 5, 2011

I just came across this site.  Haven’t had a chance to review the whole site, but it looks like a lot of helpful information there, so I’ve added it to the links.

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat, Scapegoating, Shaming | 2 Comments »

Judge Shuts down Psycho Ex-Wife Blog

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on August 10, 2011

I didn’t really follow the blog too closely because it was more about coping with the divorce as a an ex-spouse/partner of an ex-spouse of someone who may have a Personality Disorder.  But I do think it’s disturbing that the blog has been shut down.   More detail can be found here.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, RANT, Scapegoat, Scapegoating | 2 Comments »

The Mask

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on March 24, 2011

I think one of the more frustrating parts of a parent with a personality disorder is the mask or the act they play for others.  I’ve started opening up to some of the people in my family about the fact that my mother and I are estranged.  I recently did so with a stepsister (mother’s side) who I was in limited contact with.  Of course,  I got the whole, your mother loves you very much, speaks lovingly of you bullshit.  It’s just so crazymaking to deal with someone who behaves so differently in private when it’s just the 2 of us or when one of her enablers/apologists is around. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism | 6 Comments »

Forgiveness and Anger

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on March 21, 2011

Many times, those of us who grew up with a parent with a Personality Disorder are commanded to forgive or “get over it”.   This is a follow up on a couple of entries earlier I wrote on forgiveness and more forgiveness.     Two interesting links about why ordering us to forgive or “get over it” can be detrimental to our healing & recovery. 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders | 13 Comments »

Forgiveness

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on November 20, 2010

I was inspired to write about this by a friend’s Facebook update which talked about how great forgiveness can feel when you are finally in the place to do so.  I agree with this sentiment because it recognizes a very crucial part of forgiveness, that the person giving the forgiveness does so freely.  The forgiver isn’t being coerced or pressured in any way.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Scapegoat | Leave a Comment »