One of my relatives likes to call at around 10pm or 10:30 on a regular basis. The latest I ever get up on a workday is 7am. Usually, it’s closer to 6am or sometimes 5-5:30 am if I’m going to the gym. Even though I have a really hard time with insomnia, I at least like to try to go to bed somewhere between 10 and 11 pm. Continue reading “Some Boundaries almost 2nd Nature, Yay Me!!”
I think one of the more frustrating parts of a parent with a personality disorder is the mask or the act they play for others. I’ve started opening up to some of the people in my family about the fact that my mother and I are estranged. I recently did so with a stepsister (mother’s side) who I was in limited contact with. Of course, I got the whole, your mother loves you very much, speaks lovingly of you bullshit. It’s just so crazymaking to deal with someone who behaves so differently in private when it’s just the 2 of us or when one of her enablers/apologists is around. Continue reading “The Mask”
Many times, those of us who grew up with a parent with a Personality Disorder are commanded to forgive or “get over it”. This is a follow up on a couple of entries earlier I wrote on forgiveness and more forgiveness. Two interesting links about why ordering us to forgive or “get over it” can be detrimental to our healing & recovery.
Happy Belated Birthday, we miss and love you. I really appreciate the fact that you were able to make amends with us and let us know how the thing you really regretted about your alcohol/substance abuse was its effect on your parenting with me and bro. You still managed to do ok and it means a lot to me that you took responsibility for it and acknowledged it to us. I know that wasn’t easy for you. But it’s really helped with healing and being able to move forward. Continue reading “Letter to my Father”
I hope one day we can get to know each other. More importantly, I hope your parents do a good job of protecting you from the toxic legacy of our family issues. Wishing you the best and letting you know you have an auntie who loves you!
I can’t send this out of respect for my brother’s wish for no contact, so I’m going to write it here so I can get out some of the feelings I have about our estrangement. Also, if I were going to send it, there’d be a need for heavy editing out of a need for diplomacy. Warning, some foul language. Continue reading “Letter to My Brother”