I’ve been meaning to add this for quite some time. I’ve added a link to Kellevision’s Scapegoating Resources, both under the Scapegoating category and Blogroll. It links to a series of posts by a therapist who is also a recovering scapegoat. She gives some excellent insight to the issue from both a professional and personal perspective.
The truth telling one in particuar really resonated with me. Her checklist (why am I telling this truth, does it need to be told, etc.) is very valuable and something I’ve already incorporated into my daily life as I navigate through social settings, etc. learning not to be the scapegoat. The blaming and perfection ones are quite handy too. It’s another internal check for me when I feel myself looking to blame or judge. Sometimes judgment and blame are necessary and healthy. But sometimes they are just reactions to my past conditioning. Sort of like, well, if I don’t put the blame on something, I’ll get blamed. I felt my thinking going this way at work a bit recently.
We’ve been affected by layoffs and it’s stressful. Though thankfully, it’s a good group of people. But I’ve been feeling stressed because I haven’t been able to complete my tasks as quickly as I used to do to the heavier workload. It’s a service oriented profession, so I feel like I’m doing something “wrong”. I was starting to get angry and looking for someone to blame, but reading the entries on Kellevision helped reinforce that this is something where it’s just a bad situation. As the Howard Jones song goes, “no one is to blame”. Just need to take a deep breath and re-evaluate the expectations I’m putting on myself.