Whenthescapegoatquits's Blog

A Blog about scapegoat recovery & daughters of narcissistic mothers

New Resource Added

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on January 31, 2010

I’ve been meaning to add this for quite some time.  I’ve added a link to Kellevision’s Scapegoating Resources, both under the Scapegoating category and Blogroll.  It links to a series of posts by a therapist who is also a recovering scapegoat.  She gives some excellent insight to the issue from both a professional and personal perspective. 

The truth telling one in particuar really resonated with me.  Her checklist (why am I telling this truth, does it need to be told, etc.) is very valuable and something I’ve already incorporated into my daily life as I navigate through social settings,  etc.  learning not to be the scapegoat.    The blaming and perfection ones are quite handy too.  It’s another internal check for me when I feel myself looking to blame or judge.   Sometimes judgment and blame are necessary and healthy.  But sometimes they are just reactions to my past conditioning.  Sort of like, well, if I don’t put the blame on something, I’ll get blamed.  I felt my thinking going this way at work a bit recently.

We’ve been affected by layoffs and it’s stressful.  Though thankfully,  it’s a good group of people.  But I’ve been feeling stressed because I haven’t been able to complete my tasks as quickly as I used to do to the heavier workload.  It’s a service oriented profession, so I feel like I’m doing something “wrong”.  I was starting to get angry and looking for someone to blame, but reading the entries on Kellevision helped reinforce that this is something where it’s just a bad situation.  As the Howard Jones song goes, “no one is to blame”.  Just need to take a deep breath and re-evaluate the expectations I’m putting on myself.

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