Whenthescapegoatquits's Blog

A Blog about scapegoat recovery & daughters of narcissistic mothers

Families in Denial

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on August 22, 2009

The Mayor of Milwaukee was leaving the state fair this weekend when he came across a woman screaming for help/to call 911.  As he did, he was attacked by the man who had been threatening the woman.  He was in an argument with his baby’s grandmother.  For his bravery, the mayor was beaten with the man’s fists and a metal stick.  Thankfully, he is recovering and there were no serious brain injuries. 

The attacker is Anthony Peters.  He was intoxicated and had brought the metal stick to break the windows of his child’s grandmother’s car.  How do you think the family would react?  Talk about how he needs to get help?  Nope, blame the mayor!  How dare he get involved!  Seriously, kudos to the mayor for stepping up and interceding in this situation.  It was a brave, noble & selfless thing to do.  Best wishes for a quick recovery.

Here are news articles with the family’s quotes:

This one  quotes his aunt:

Crawford said her nephew has been upset because his ex-girlfriend wasn’t letting him see their 1-year-old daughter Siena. 

“If she would have just stuck to her word of letting him see the baby then the whole situation probably wouldn’t have transpired,” Crawford said. 

The issue came to a head Saturday night when the baby’s grandmother was babysitting for the baby, she called 911. 

“My granddaughter’s birth father just tried to pull her out of the car, broke my cell phone, threatened to shoot us and to shoot himself,” the grandmother said during her 911 call.On Tuesday night, Peters’ mother, Danita Brisk, defended her son’s actions in a telephone interview with WTMJ-TV (Channel 4). She described her son as “bipolar, off his medication, borderline psychotic.”

“When he’s on his medication, he’s a totally different person,” Brisk said.

Brisk told the TV station that she thinks Barrett provoked her son and that she wishes the mayor hadn’t intervened.

“I was raised to keep to yourself,” she said.

“If it would have been any other individual besides the mayor,” Brisk told WTMJ, “I mean, it wouldn’t even have hit the news. My son probably wouldn’t have been arrested. None of this would even be happening.”

Crawford said her nephew has been upset because his ex-girlfriend wasn’t letting him see their 1-year-old daughter Siena. 

“If she would have just stuck to her word of letting him see the baby then the whole situation probably wouldn’t have transpired,” Crawford said. 

The issue came to a head Saturday night when the baby’s grandmother was babysitting for the baby, she called 911. 

“My granddaughter’s birth father just tried to pull her out of the car, broke my cell phone, threatened to shoot us and to shoot himself,” the grandmother said during her 911 call.

Sure, it’s all the mom/grandmom’s fault for not handing over the kid to an intoxicated, violent man making threats.   Imagine that!  (being sarcastic here).

And the mom chimes in here:

On Tuesday night, Peters’ mother, Danita Brisk, defended her son’s actions in a telephone interview with WTMJ-TV (Channel 4). She described her son as “bipolar, off his medication, borderline psychotic.”

“When he’s on his medication, he’s a totally different person,” Brisk said.

Brisk told the TV station that she thinks Barrett provoked her son and that she wishes the mayor hadn’t intervened.

“I was raised to keep to yourself,” she said.

“If it would have been any other individual besides the mayor,” Brisk told WTMJ, “I mean, it wouldn’t even have hit the news. My son probably wouldn’t have been arrested. None of this would even be happening.”

Have to love the absolute lack of concern for the granddaughter or anyone else affected by her son’s acting out.  Oh & that mayor really provoked mama’s darling little baby boy by calling 911.  He even threatened the mayor’s niece who called 911 when he was on the ground.  This NPR article links to the criminal complaint.

One of Peter’s brothers chimes in too:

Peters’ older brother, who does not want his face shown or name used, said that 20-year-old Anthony was upset because he wanted to see his 14-month-old daughter.

“It’s something that could have been avoided,” his brother said. “If he was able to see his kid it wouldn’t have gone this far.”

The Peters family said Anthony is not allowed to see his daughter as much as he would like, and that is what he was fighting with his daughter’s maternal grandmother about it when Mayor Barrett tried to help. The family feels the mayor shouldn’t have stepped in.

“Somebody got involved that really shouldn’t have gotten involved,” the brother said.

The family also feels if it had been anybody but Mayor Barrett that stepped in, Anthony would not have been arrested.

“Now it’s this big issue,” the brother said.

James Causey is one of the few writers/editors to tackle the denial aspect of this whole story in his column

Not suprisingly, if you look at the Wisconsin Court System Database,  the 2 named defenders, his mother, Danita Brisk and his aunt, Dena Crawford, come up with results.  Mom was convicted twice for driving impaired. 

This story strikes a chord with me.  Having grown up in a family with extensive alcoholism like this, it’s interesting to see it from the outside for a change.  Because when I was in the midst of it, I felt like I was the one who was crazy, irrational and unreasonable.  They really believe their way/thinking is normal and healthy.  And I was the freak for challenging it.  It’s sort like growing up the emotional equivalent of Marilyn in the Munsters.  Only Eddie & Lily have a mean streak and a drinking problem. 

Peter’s mother, aunt and brother really believe in what they say.  They think it’s perfectly normal, rational to handle a child custody disagreement by showing up drunk & belligerent at the child’s grandmother’s home.  Instead of calling the police or going to the courts.  And instead of looking at him or inwards towards themselves, they blame everyone else.  They blame the baby’s mother, the grandmother and the mayor.  They express no concern over the violence against the mayor or that he was willing to break car windows WITH HIS CHILD INSDIDE THE CAR!  I guess their dates in court haven’t taught them how to handle life’s frustrations & bumps in a law abiding way. 

My brother was arrested for a crime after he relapsed a few years back.  He spent about 2 years in prison.  He was even dumb enough to make a video of himself doing the crime.  Of course, he lied to us about it to begin with.  No mention of the video.   Then it comes out about the video (he had to take a plea because they had proof).  My mom & stepdad blame everyone but him for this.  They blame the victim, they blame the court system, my mom even got angry at me when I tried to explain why some laws would prevent the court from bringing in information which may have reflected on the victim’s character.  Pretty much everyone was to blame except mama’s darling baby boy.

He got out, went back to AA (where he met my sister in law)  and slowly got his act together.  At his wedding reception, he actually had the nerve to compare himself to the falsely accused hero of the Shawshank redemption!  WTF?!    I look around and out of the 20 or so people there, no one else seems to find this odd, people are laughing, and encouraging this statement. 

It really is Bizarro World.  I think it’s interesting the mayor’s reaction to the family’s comments was to call them bizarre.  It’s a reminder of how those of us not enmeshed/caught up in these Bizarro World situations can see them for what they are.  Speaking up and/or intervening in these sitatuions will earn you blame and the honor of being a scapegoat from the Bizarro World citizens, but it’s the opposite once one is out of  Bizarro World.

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