The Scapegoat’s Letter of Resignation/Help Wanted Ad

One way I’ve been coping with this is to wonder what the scapegoat’s letter of resignation and the subsequent help wanted ad would look like.  It helps me laugh at the situation. 

Dear Mom & Bro,

Effective immediately, I will be resigning the scapegoat position.  The position no longer meets my needs and I will be pursuing other opportunities.  Baaaaaaa Baaaa [note, I’m under the impression goats make a similiar noise to sheep, but I haven’t spent much time around either, so I could be wrong].

Yours truly,

The Former Scapegoat

Help Wanted: Scapegoat

Due to a sudden, unexpected surge in self-esteem of our last scapegoat, we are looking for a replacement scapegoat.  Must be:

  • willing to take blame for things that are in no way your fault
  • be shamed & berated on a regular basis because, well we need to shame & berate people on a regular basis.  Otherwise we’d actually have to communicate with each other & take responsibility for our own actions.  Can you imagine that?!!!
  • willing to spend vacation time/travel costs, etc. for family event/emergencies only to be shamed & berated regularly.  Again, if we can’t shame & berate you, we’ll have to have meaningful conversations with each other & no one wants that!

This exercise may seem a little silly.  But it was useful because it made me realize that no one in their right mind would want the job! 🙂

I’d been feeling both very blue & very angry since the rift started (May 25th).  I’ve started feeling happier/better the last couple of weeks.  I made it to the gym 2x the last couple of weeks.  It would have been more but we’ve been crazed at work with an upcoming move.   Twice may not seem like a lot but it was better than the just wanting to lie in bed and barely getting out of it for work funk I’d been in.  While I’m not crazy about the location of the new place ( it adds to an insanely long commute), one thing to look forward to is a branch of the gym is only 1 block away.  And they have more morning spin classes than my current branch.  I can’t wait until we get settled and I can take advantage of that. 

When I was grocery shopping, I treated myself to a bright plant.  As I’m having my coffee, here’s what I’m seeing:

8 thoughts on “The Scapegoat’s Letter of Resignation/Help Wanted Ad

  1. Hi! This made me laugh out loud. I actually want to send this as my resignation letter to my parents. Your blog is amazing. It’s helped me pinpoint what’s wrong in my family.

    1. Glad to be able to pay it forward. I’ve found some excellent information & descriptions as I’ve made my journey

  2. La la white sheep have I got something to say
    CleansAfter numerous therapy and medicine that makes me throw up and emotions all rolling. I will be leaving it at your door. I hope you enjoy your step because I shan’t be around. I hope you like 2nd hand lasagna because that’s what I ate so when you step out take a smell because I left the stench at your door. It’s only right to leave it with the responsible party. Time for you to pick up after yourself scapegoatless imagine that.

    1. Unfortunately, things stayed no contact through my mother’s recent death and I’m still no contact with my brother.

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