Felt like writing some more letters Continue reading “Some more letters”
Well, some more really obvious insights after my latest therapy session. I’ve always had a tendency to laugh when recounting some of the sadder/angrier/more traumatic things. I’ve always attributed this to either gallows humor or laughing so as not to cry. But when my therapist questioned me about it this week, I gave it some thought and realized just how much the shaming & the scapegoating played into things. While some of the shaming/scapegoating from my mom was meanspirited, some was meant as “just a joke”. This was the kind she’d invite my brother to join in with most frequently. Continue reading “Some Miscellaneous Thoughts”
I thought about this some more and I realized I had a harder time letting go of my brother than I did with letting go of my mother. I’m thinking over the reasons for this. Part of it was the way she flat out told me she wasn’t going to change when I asked her to stop doing or saying certain things which were hurting me. That made it easier. Continue reading “My Brother’s Keeper Part 2”
With my new found awareness of scapegoating in mind, I’ve been doing some research on the subjects of scapegoating and shaming of truth tellers.
One of the things which has come up in both therapy & the AlAnon meetings I’ve attended is that you can’t control what other people do and that you need to look at your own motivations for control. As I was putting away some laundry today, I thought about that in relation to my brother.
Last weekend I got to spend some time with my dad’s brother’s side of the family. I had a nice time and I got a lot of good feedback and answers both intellectually and emotionally. And it was nice to have a family event where the fireworks pictured were the only fireworks! This one’s a very long post, in fact, I think it may be longer than the actual Revolutionary War, so go get a cup of coffee, herbal tea, etc & get comfy! 🙂
One way I’ve been coping with this is to wonder what the scapegoat’s letter of resignation and the subsequent help wanted ad would look like. It helps me laugh at the situation. Continue reading “The Scapegoat’s Letter of Resignation/Help Wanted Ad”