Whenthescapegoatquits's Blog

A Blog about scapegoat recovery & daughters of narcissistic mothers

Faux/Forced Forgiveness

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 14, 2012

Ok, as some of you may know, I’m not all that fond of the “forgiveness police” who decide it’s up to them to dictate to the people who have been wronged as to how and when to forgive. Or that people should forget or give people multiple second chances to people who will prove time and tim again and again and again that they will only kick you in the teeth pretty much every chance they get. That said, I think the most recent episode of American Horror Story: Asylum did an excellent job of illustrating the pitfalls of faux/forced forgiveness. Don’t read any more of this if you haven’t watched this episode, as it contains spoilers Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Shaming | 1 Comment »

Another Good Holiday Read

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 10, 2012

Karyl McBride, who authored, Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Healing Daughters of Narcissitic Mothers, wrote about the holidays and the perfection instilled by Narcissitic parents. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoat | Leave a Comment »

Holidays, Hurricane Hoover & No Contact

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on December 3, 2012

One of my friends posted this and I think it’s really helpful/useful for all of us dealing with No Contact and how some family members try to use the holidays to waltz on in, with no change in their behavior which led to No Contact:

Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Put Up the Christmas Tree

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Personality Disorders, Scapegoating | 5 Comments »

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on October 18, 2012

‘Tis (or has been) evaluation season at work.  Sometimes I get very nice comments in email from people I do work for at my job.  I’ll include them as part of my evaluation.  This year I received one calling me a “godsend” and another a “genius”.  I couldn’t bring myself to include them in my evaluation, though I did eventually end up passing them along to my boss as praise for the department (that’s how I worded the email where I forwarded them. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Healing & Recovery, narcissism, Parents with Personality Disorders | Leave a Comment »

Caregiving & the Golden Child/Scapegoat Dynamic

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 26, 2012

I want to pass this along, I found out about it via another site.  I’m no contact with my mother, but I thought of those of you who are still in contact with your mother.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Scapegoat | 2 Comments »

Dream Diary: Sibling Grief and Feelings

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 20, 2012

I woke up at 3:30 this morning from a dream. I felt a strong sense of both grief and panic upon awakening. The dream was about a brother who’d lost a sister. But I didn’t recognize the brother. He wasn’t anyone I knew, he wasn’t anyone famous. He didn’t even look like the young tourist guy I was helping with directions during my commute home, which would have made sense in that dream omelette sort of way.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dreams, Healing & Recovery | 1 Comment »

Social Media & Estrangement

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on September 4, 2012

I just came across this NY Times article about Facebook and estrangements, published back in June.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

I Was a Normal Kid . . .

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on July 27, 2012

I ended up talking with my therapist about seeing a boy & his mom leaving the dentist and some of the reprocessing of things from my own childhood.    I also showed him some photos from my childhood and my parents wedding.  Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Feelings Part II

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on July 25, 2012

As a follow up to an earlier post about feelings, I thought I’d share an anecdote.  I’ve been working with a different therapist than the one mentioned in that article since shortly after I wrote it.  That whole story and how to go about looking for a new therapist is a post in and of itself, which I plan to write one of these days.  The therapist I’m currently working with is in a building which houses a lot of medically related offices, including a dentist. As I was waiting for the elevator,  I saw a boy with his mom.  I’m not the best at guessing kids’ ages, I’m guessing he’s around 4, give or take a year.  He was holding a balloon from the dentist’s office tied to a new toothbrush.  What struck me was the conversation he and his mom were having.   Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Parents with Personality Disorders, Shaming | 2 Comments »

Neediness & Fear of Rejection

Posted by whenthescapegoatquits on July 9, 2012

I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch  lately.   For the most part, I’m really pleasantly surprised about how supportive my friends have been.  I’ve actually become closer to several people as a result of opening up about what’s going on with me.  And I also try to be there for my friends too, asking about what’s going on in their lives.  Some of my friends are going through rough patches too.  We’ve actually been able to bond over the mutual support. Of course I had another experience (in the offline world) which made me appreciate those friends all the more.  Not that I didn’t appreciate them already.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »