One Law for me, for the Cluster B another

As part of healing, I’ve been looking at certain events from a different perspective.  In some cases, for the first time, I’ve been able to feel anger and sadness at the way I was treated.  A friend &  I were discussing the estrangement and he asked me if what I’d said which led to the estrangement was the truth or hurling insults.  I answered honestly that it was both.

Grudges, Forgiveness & Eviction

A good friend of mine posted a photo on Facebook with a sign of that famous saying, “Holding a Grudge is Like Letting Someone Live Rent Free in your head.”  I jokingly replied that some people are harder to evict than others.  Which got me thinking about the expression and all of the area in between it. 

Giraffes, Sheep & Scapegoats

If you haven’t had a chance to read this Psychology Today blog entry by Karyl McBride, it’s well worth a read.  In addition to addressing the grief which can result from estrangements and/or limited contact and/or no contact, she talks about how this shapes the dynamics in families with Cluster B Parents and about the scapegoat’s role.

Wisdom Born of Pain

I wasn’t sure how to title this.  I don’t want to trivialize what scapegoats go through growing up and until we learn healthy boundaries.  So that ruled out things such as “The Brighter Side of Being Scapegoated”, “Strengths of the Scapegoat”.  One of my happier memories is my mother playing Helen Reddy’s Greatest Hits really loud.  So as I was trying to come up with a title, I thought of the song “I Am Woman” and the lyric,  “wisdom born of pain.”  and that seems very fitting.    I’m going to share my own wisdom born of the pain of being scapegoated and encourage you to do the same if you feel comfortable doing so.    And it doesn’t have to be 100% positive.  It can be something which is a double edged sword depending upon the circumstances.

New Addition to Links

I just came across this site.  Haven’t had a chance to review the whole site, but it looks like a lot of helpful information there, so I’ve added it to the links.

The Golden Uterus Syndrome/Mama Martyr Act

Dr. T, who has treated the victims of Cluster Bs and has done a great deal to spread awareness of them has written about “The Golden Uterus Syndrome”   There’s also the Mama Martyr Act, which can be directed at both the children and the father. 

Child Abuse Leads to Depression

Not only does abuse as a child lead to depression later in life, it can lead to a form that is  more difficult to treat:

Article.

Liking Posts

I was trying to see info on posts which were liked.  I inadvertently clicked like on a couple of my own posts.  I tried to follow instructions on how to remove my own likes.  But the cursor keeps spinning.  I’ll try again, but just wanted to let anyone reading know I’m not weird enough to like my own posts, lol!  I think that’s implied by my writing them (that I like them)

Two Standards?

It may seem at times like I go much easier on my father than my mother when it comes to the past.  This may seem unfair because after all, he contributed to the discord, violence and disharmony at home when I was a child.  Both parents were alcoholics while I was growing up. 

Judge Shuts down Psycho Ex-Wife Blog

I didn’t really follow the blog too closely because it was more about coping with the divorce as a an ex-spouse/partner of an ex-spouse of someone who may have a Personality Disorder.  But I do think it’s disturbing that the blog has been shut down.   More detail can be found here.